“Let Anton Buslov live longer!”These words sounded throughout the network: in response to Anton’s request, helping him in the collection of funds to fight cancer responded. Soon it began to seem to us that we personally know this person. A month later, we invited Anton to the editor and finally met.
One deputy at the end of 2012 stated that it is better for society to cure ten those who “return to duty”, than spend the same money on one oncological patient, who will still die. This statement only spurred our desire to meet with a person who struck us with the power of his message: “Do not write us down. There are many of us, and we can live!»Yes, Anton is sick and undergoing treatment, but his life is not limited to this. On the contrary, he lives as it is impossible for many healthy! When we called, he made an appointment the next day, although it was Saturday, and came to the editorial office after the workshop at which he discussed the organization of the movement of urban transport. Together with the oncopsychologist Vyacheslav Yansston, we asked Anton about what was in his life today: about work, loved ones, treatment, doctors and the Hodgkin lymphoma, which requires him a lot of attention, time and effort, but to which his life is not at all reduced.
Anton Buslov, 29 years old, astrophysicist, co -chair of the public organization City and Transport, advises the city authorities in Samara, Moscow, Voronezh. His blog: Mymaster.Livejournal.Com
Psychologies : You were in the city hall for public affairs, and not on personal?
Anton : Moscow City Hall my cancer is completely uninteresting, and it’s good that it is so. They are interested in I as an expert on transport, we discussed a lot and parted satisfied. I don’t need to talk with the mayor’s health. Why do others know that someone has oncology? There is a person, and he is important in itself, and the disease is just one of the circumstances, nothing more. It is pointless, in my opinion, to make a global story out of this.
Vyacheslav : That is, you would not want to touch the topic of your own health once again?
Anton : From what. It’s just that these are questions of another, private order. As if you asked me if I had breakfast well or whether my head hurts. My cancer is about the same story. Yes, I have a lymphoma, and what? Relatives, friends, acquaintances, having learned about the diagnosis, are frightened much more than the patient himself, begin to think out, invent, fantasize, mentally worsen the forecast ..
Vyacheslav : I have to face the fact that people, having learned about the diagnosis, consider this a sentence or punishment of heaven.
Anton : Yes! The first section that I saw on the site dedicated to the lymphoma is called that – “for what I am for me?”. But I didn’t even look there, but immediately went on, where it was discussed what to do with the disease. Search for the causes of cancer is a deliberately losing and crazy occupation, and there is not much time for the cancer patient: he needs to do something more useful for himself or society.
Vyacheslav : Many people and after recovery reflect on the topic that it was with them and why. I explain this for myself by the fact that for them the issues of meaning and being have always been relevant, and then the reason turned up.
Anton : The issue of life and death faces all absolutely people. But for those who constantly think about why we live, cancer greatly changes the picture of the world. And for a person like me, who does not really go into philosophical issues, the disease is rather just a fact. Once a doctor recommended that I read the book of Remarque “Life of Luke”. At the next consultation, we quickly scattered the results of the tests, and then began to discuss why Remarus “leaked” the final. It seems to me that many people in their lives lack the lymphoma of Hodgkin. Well, or some other very serious problem, so that they finally start living, and not exist out of habit. I am sure that many people need to get cancer for this.
“In my opinion, either a person does his life consciously and she goes as he wants, or she“ happens ”with him and he only watches this” Anton Buslov
What did you feel when you heard the diagnosis?
Anton : I immediately had a lot of questions. By that time, I was offended by doctors. It so happened that I lay in the infectious department for three weeks and understood that they were being treated wrong. Insisted on additional examinations, said that I would find funds if the hospital does not have them. I know that many are afraid to argue with doctors, but I need not only to say what to do, but also explain why. I can only follow the recommendations that seem to me logical. I also felt anxiety, which was then replaced by planning. For me this is in order of things: as soon as I begin to understand what is the matter, the anxiety is leaving.
Help Anton Boslov
Now Anton especially needs help: he collects money for a new operation in America. Read more – on the blog of Anton Mymaster.Livejournal.COM/403903.HTML and on Mymaster4Life.ru
Recipient: Buslov Anton Sergeevich
Recipient Bank: Sberbank of Russia OJSC. MOSCOW
BIK Bank Recipient: 044525225
K/s recipient bank in the RCC: 30101810400000000225
Purpose of payment: voluntary donation for l/s 40817810838061002884
Vyacheslav Yantston, 31 years old, oncopsychologist, one of the founders of the All-Russian hotline of socio-psychological care for cancer patients and their loved ones and a portal for patients, their relatives and relatives, t. 8 (800) 100 0191, Help-Patient.ru
You understand the mechanism of lymphoma?
Anton : I came to this later. At first I had to figure out what oncology is, where it is treated – if in the onco center, then how to sign up if it is necessary for this Moscow registration and where to get it. A lot of technical issues immediately arose before me, which I had to decide so as not to die. A kind of computer quest: go there, find it. In general, patients are most interested in specifics. While I’m sitting in lines, I communicate with people. These people ask me a million questions that they would love to ask a doctor if he had for this time! Everyone is worried, they want to know the details, talk. Everyone is scared. It seems to me that if a psychologist sat in line under the guise of a patient, everything would go much better. And how many times they asked me a question whether the hair falls out after chemotherapy.
Vyacheslav : He is really often set by phone of trust.
Anton : Why not hang posters on the walls? This would be the most popular of all the pieces of paper that patients see.
What else are patients?
Vyacheslav : The strongest fear is the fear of death. A woman with the fourth stage of cancer went to our group classes, very businesslike, resorted to work, then hurried home, she had a big family. And each time she talked about how scared she was not to wake up in the morning, to die after returning from the hospital … But it is not at all necessary that the same fear will overcome another person with the same diagnosis or treatment experience. For many, the topic of death first pops up, then it leaves when the treatment is successful. After recovery, many participants in the psychotherapeutic group are first called to help us, but then they understand that they cannot. They really want to live without illness and talk about her for a while.
Anton : People try not to reflect on the topic of death, and the disease makes them think about it. Sometimes patients are told how much they have left, although doctors prefer not to give forecasts.
Vyacheslav : I also think that doctors should not talk about the deadlines. Where did they get such information? And do everyone want to know her? Another thing is the diagnosis. Usually relatives are the first to recognize him. The question arises – whether to tell the patient. I always ask: you can not say? And are they ready to bear the load of responsibility alone?
Anton : This is a completely ridiculous situation! I know the story when a person was treated and did not know what: he was told that chemotherapy is prevention. I have a question for such relatives: maybe then they will live for the patient, breathe, walk, eat? As for the forecast, I personally needed a figure, and I am sure that she was interested in everyone. Another thing is that not everyone is able to soberly evaluate whether they are ready to hear it. My doctor did not say anything to me – so I had to tear out the figure with ticks, I sent my brother and said that he would not return without her. I’m most afraid of the unknown. I’m not afraid to die, we will all die. Another thing is that it will be very unpleasant for me to die (as doctors say), but it is pointless to be afraid of this. Worse, if I don’t know how it will be and when.
How to talk with relatives
about the disease?
Anton : The disease is the problem of the one who is sick, and he must “moderate” everything that happens around: relations with others, his work, communication with doctors, personal life. His duty is to prepare relatives and society, since cancer is only his misfortune, and he must work with him.
Vyacheslav : Not everyone succeeds. Terminal patients often call us to talk: “I will not talk about the illness with relatives, I do not want to bring this topic into our relationship”. And they have the need for communication. And then the topic of death arises. If a person was thinking about this, it means that it is important to talk about it about it, to make it more clear to himself what is happening to him now. To figure out what his problems and fears he projects on the situation of the disease, what exactly he is afraid. This is a very painstaking work.
Anton, how do loved ones support you?
Anton : Good question. Brother says that he goes to a cancer patient to charge with a love of life! I don’t need moral support. Household help is needed, and I appreciate that at any moment he is ready to provide it. Another thing is that you rely on others and know what will help you, it is important not only to patients, but also to any person.
Vyacheslav : In your relationship with your parents, something has changed?
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